while he is three, he will play

Me - Asher, I want to tell you something.

Asher - (eyes bright, runs right over) What, Mama?

Me - Today you are THREE. It's your birthday today!

Asher - oooooh. Will I get a balloon?

Me - Yes. Later today....what are you going to do this year, while you're three?

Asher - play wid Zach-Max (cousins)...and brudder...and you (pronounced jew. just sayin')....cause I missed jew (very very sad face, oh so downcast, oh his soul)

Me - Oh. When was I gone?

Asher - (long pouty pause, then giggles, throws his head back) I kidding!

Me - Oh, you're silly. I love you.

Asher - I wuz jew, too, Mommy.

(gives big hugs, then throws noggin back again to be silly and cracks said noggin on chair.)
(just keepin' it real, peeps.)
(he's totally fine.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cue The Cute:


End Cute.

Happy Birthday, Asher. Mommy loves you to the sky and back and back up and back down and back up and back down....infinity.

One room at a time, a new series of the EO, books, CBC '10, Listen To Your Mother, and Moving House

1. So, that One Room at a Time thing? We're still doing that, it's just that it's taking a really long time to do one room at a time. We've been working on the dining room for a while now. I still plan to do some Big Reveals complete with riveting before and after pictures, but stuff keeps getting in the way. Like life. Silly life.

2. I'm really excited to be starting something new here on the ol' blog. I'm going to be interviewing people, about their life stories and then writing about them here. You know, like I'm a jouranlist of my own making or something. I'm actually interviewing my friend Jen this very day about her journey with breast cancer, starting in her early twenties. She's absolutely beautiful and a complete rock star and I can't wait for you to meet her. I want to call this series something but I haven't come up with what to call it yet. Something like, She Should Be Famous, but less lame. Help is appreciated.

3. I think I'm addicted to reading. I've always been addicted to reading, but it's worse now. Or should I say better? Because at the height of my drinking (or should I say the lowth?) I would read a couple chapters before bed and then not remember them the next night. (Not awesome.) Now I'm gobbling up books and remembering them, so I'm really excited that I won Plan B by Pete Wilson in a giveaway and that my lovely friend Aidan Donelly Rowley is kind enough to send me her debut novel Life After Yes even before it's available to the rest of the world. I love Aidan's writing and heart and I can't wait to read it. I'll be sure to tell you all about it.

4. Tomorrow it will be May. This means May 28th and 29th are getting closer. That means that I'm getting really excited and really nervous at the same time because I'll be at The Casual Bloggers Conference meeting lots of amazing blogging friends and also speaking in front of them. I'm speaking with the likes of Moosh in Indy on one panel and Kristen from Rage Against the Minivan and Allison of OMyFamily on another. (Those aren't the only bloggers I'm a huge fan of that I'll sit with, but I'll leave my not-so-subtle name dropping for another day.) (Um...because I can't believe the fine folks of the CBC would really want me to do this!) (Seriously. Please don't tell them that I get really nervous and sometimes that means I go mute.)

5. Speaking of CBC '10, if you can swing it, especially if you live near Sandy, Utah, you should totally come! I think there are like 5 tickets left, so hurry!

6. I'm also fantasizing about showing up in Madison, Wisconsin on Mother's Day to go to my friend Ann's show Listen To Your Mother and to see my Maggie.
Listen to Your Mother is going to be an amazing show, I just know it. SO, if you're near Madison, you don't want to miss it. And neither do I...therefore, I fantasize and check flights and consider driving the 7 hours. I mean, really. You only live one wild and precious life!

7. We brought my Mom to the airport yesterday and then we went to IKEA and then to see some friends and then to see our old Best Neighbors In The Universe. (I'm sorry we didn't see more people, but it was quite a packed day from thing to thing.) It was a very good day and also bittersweet because I'm still grieving living there and Miles told me he doesn't like it that we moved and then I cried. Moving is so hard. It's like we didn't just move on to another chapter in our lives, it feels more like we stopped writing a book altogether and then opened a blank one. That's been both really good and really hard. Speaking of Miles, he also said, "When is Martyr's Day?" Seriously, that's how he pronounced Mother's Day. Hilarious.

The End.

{This post is a part of 7 Quick Takes}

Chubby Bunnies

Say 'chubby bunnies'

I SAID, say 'chubby bunnies'

Disclaimer: No one was traumatized while squished cheeks were being coaxed to spill their chubby bunnies. There were no tears. There was no pain, no fits. Except for fits of the giggles.

And then he said,

I'm not just your average boy, Mommy.

He's not, you know. I haven't met an average boy yet,
especially mine.

~~~~~

I've been trying to write a post for a few days now. It's a Very Important Post. Or something. Actually, I have about five posts working, saved as drafts, just a-sittin' there a-wishin' they were fishin'. Or... a-finished.

What? I don't have any idea what that meant, but now here I am writing this nonsensical post off the top of my head instead of those other ones. It seems that any time I sit down to spend some time on the world wide web these days, something comes up. Ryan is traveling for work more again now, and let me tell you, The Sisterhood Of The Traveling (Or Deployed) Husbands is brave and strong. Or at least we try. (not that I'm comparing my one week home, one week gone absent husband to a military man, I'm not. It's way different.)

My head is a jumble and life is so full over here. So much of it is good, like warming days with blooming daffodils and friends over for dinner and thunder as a reminder that rain comes to wake things up. And our boys, of course and our house (which is slowly coming together and looking so great-I'll do a One Room One At A Time post soonly). Yes, life is so good. We even have sea monkeys.

And then some of life's full is really hard and that's how it always is. Good and hard. Life.

It took me until I was somewhere in my 20's to figure out that life doesn't really ever go along swimmingly. There's always something. I've said here before that I can vividly remember asking my Dad, when I was about 21, Is being a grown-up always this hard? He gave me one of his looks and a nod, like he was a little afraid to be honest, so as not to burst my bubble. Now, as I near 35, I realize 'the look' probably said something more like Oh, you have NO idea.

And I'm sure I still don't.

That's kind of depressing (and terrifying), I guess.

But it's just the truth and so I have to choose to hold on to the right now and see that it's good, full of humor and light.

I'm of the opinion that we can do that even when the funk hits and we just can't feel good. That's okay, it will pass and, Oh my stars guess what? We have to ask for help and give it too because that's why we're here.

The beauty is that we can still see good at all, even when that good seems to be pinging around and bouncing off as fast as it can, unwilling to stick to our mood.

So far away.



Good things, always being blurred by just how fast they move through us.


It's frustrating, when all you want to do is just hold on to that feeling of good and then ping, whoosh, gone.


Another good thing is that there are so many good things, or the hard might swallow me right up with its busy and much. I suppose it could, and maybe even would, if my eyes fell off the good.


Keep looking at the chubby bunnies, friends. And I'll try right along with you.

Comfort

"Remember, we all stumble, every one of us.
That's why it's a comfort to go hand-in-hand."

{Emily Kimbrough}

Motherhood has shown me how little I know about much of anything. It started right away. I thought I would know exactly what to do {pffft}, but I second-guessed everything. So much of the time, this unknowledge loomed over me, past and present and future. I knew instantly that I desperately wanted control of everything and I had control of nothing. It was terrifying. To fiercely want to protect while feeling so helpless.

Sometimes it feels like all I've done since we had our boys is stand in one place trying to figure things out. Thinking about how to do right by them or fix this or that while all the clashing thoughts bounce around my head and heart. Most often, by the time I work through the mess and come up the best possible response, the moment has passed. The child has moved on, feeling better or not, issue resolved or not. Life does its speedy thing and I'm the only one still standing there.

Motherhood, like sobriety, is humbling in the best possible way, because it forces me to reach out for help. It demands that I ask for peace and then for the healing of even the things that have already passed by while I stood there, numb and worrying.

I'm slowly learning to stand and worry less and to trust my gut more. I call it my heart-gut, and I may not know much, but I know God speaks there. I also know I will always be there for my boys. I'll be there, asking for help and giving it, moment by moment. And even when I stall and stand numb with life whizzing by, I have these things to wake me up to my need. They are sobriety and motherhood, so tangible it's as if they actually reach out a firm hand and give me a good shove in the right direction. In the direction of help.

These two labels on my life are definitely looming and so big and also gifts. I am a mother and I am an alcoholic. Those two words are reminders to surrender to today and to listen to my heart-gut. That is where I find comfort, and then give it to my boys.

In which Miles decorates for Christmas

Thursday~December 17, 2009

Miles did our Christmas decorating this year.

I believe he has a gift.

All I had to do was sit at the table and watch.

These are all of our decorations, you know, since we're moving.
I'm cool with that.
All that really matters is that proud little grin anyway.

~~~~~

Not only is Miles helpful, he's also hilarious. Just the other day he said,
Daddy, your loud talking is crazing me out.

Go ahead and steal the phrase crazing me out. You're welcome.

~~~~~

Head on over to You Capture at I Should Be Folding Laundry for more Decor photos.

~~~~~
P.S. Thank you all so much for your comments on my last post. That was the kind of post I hesitate to publish in all my fear and insecurity, all worried that I won't be understood. So honestly, I was relieved and humbled and simply blown away by your encouraging comments. You rock. Thank you.

The Nanosecond

Thursday~November 26, 2009



My friend Lindsey gave me a gift today by sharing this quote with me,

"Gratitude is noticing the extraordinary in the ordinary.
And then taking the nanosecond to feel it." (K.K. Kaplan)


(Oh, how I love that! Thank you, Lindsey!)




Happy Thanksgiving!

(Dear My Side of the Family,
We miss you today!)

Free writing with Miles

Friday~October 23, 2009

Below you will find a piece of writing penned by myself and my inspiring four year old, Miles. We took turns. I asked him to start the story and when he would pause, I would pick up from where he left off. Then he would pause and I would take a turn. Then he just ran with it all on his own, rattling off the story almost faster than I could type.

So I give you...

Spider Went Into Someone's Hand
(title by Miles)
(Kristen, aren't you glad I didn't say ear?)

(Miles begins the story)
"There was a spider and everybody came and the spider went out. And then the mom came in and then the kid came in."
(Then it was my turn...you get the idea.)
"The spider's name was Frank. He was hairy. He was black. He ran away when everybody came in because he was afraid of their feet stepping on him. So the mom and the kid were alone in the room, but they saw the spider leaving to go to..."
"He was going back to his area he actually lived, he was going into a restaurant."
"And there he found his incredibly large spider family."
(and then he hits a streak that cannot be stopped)
"With his web all maked because that's where he lived so he saw the planet so he went out there with his parents to do something because he was alone all the time... because he thought he would get stepped on. He was worried about his mom and dad getting stepped on. Because he got smooshed already and came back alive but when he woke up he saw his parents were still smooshed so he came back to help them get alive and woke them up. So the God spider came and they could see him because he was actually real. So yes, the people's God came and he was not invisible and then he went back to his home to do the same thing he was doing. And all he did was what he did.
(Phew)

The End.


After we were done he said, "How 'bout we break down the title?"

I said, "Um...OK, what do you mean by that?"

"Say that it came from us just doing our own thing on our own blog."

You got it, kid.



You should have seen how he would beam with pride after his turn. He's a total rock star.

I highly encourage you to give this a try with a kiddo or two. I mean, if you feel like it.

I hope your weekend is good.

From the Mouths of Miles AND Asher

Sunday~October 4, 2009

All this time, you've been hearing about Asher's noggin. Ever since we found out about that whole hydrocephalus thing it's as if his only appearance here on the blog is all about water on the brain and shunts and all that.

Poor guy. There's more to him than hydrocephalus, of course.

He's doing so well. SO well. I mean, like, I-will-scream-at-you-every-time-you-tell-me-I-can't-have-what-I-want-to-have kind of well, know what I mean? And if he doesn't agree with his brother...uh huh, that deserves a punch or a scratch or a bite.

He's got The Feisty, that Asher. He's got it.

(I should seriously post video of it, he's terrifying.)

And it is SO hard to be mad at him.

No, not because of his noggin, but because he's Asher.

He will completely fold his face into a frown and hunch his shoulders and then screeeeech his demands like some kind of crazed vulture. And that's funny. So it's hard to be mad.

Oh, and then when he's calm and collected, he talks like ET, endearing himself to us even more.

"Eaaat. Eeeaaaat." (pointing his ET finger toward the fridge.)

(Everyone scrambles to get him some food.)

Just today I went to get him (because he was screeching at the top of his lungs) after his nap and I was all, "Oh my...it stinks in here...Did you poop?"

I was hoping for an answer of any kind, since he's new to talking and all, and he gave me this ET response...

"Nooooope." (emphasis on the 'p'-pah!)

I said, "Oh. Can I smell your diaper to check?"

"MmmmHmmm," he says nonchalantly, like he truly believes there's nothing to hide.

So I stick my face in the vacinity of his bum and take a whiff like all parents do and I almost pass out.

"Oh," I say. "No poop, huh? Well, what's in there then, my child?"

Long pause.

"Diiirt."

(Laughing) "Oh really, DIRT is stinking up your diaper."

Long pause.

"Guuuum."

"In your diaper?"

"MmmmHmmmm."

"Oh OK...So let me get this straight...you have dirt and gum in your diaper?"

"MmmmHmmmm."

"Oh really. What else?"

"Boooogies."

To which I said, "MmmmHmmmm..." (and then rolled my eyes and took him to change his diaper.)

---------------

In other Mommy Blog news....

The other day I told Miles to go put his pants on.

He asked why (OF COURSE).

I said, "Well, we're having company over and when you have company over you wear pants."

He went to his room, was putting on pants and started laughing. Then he called out,

"We're having a business over, Mom? I'm putting on my pants for a business?"


Get it? Huh? Do ya get it?


Smarty pants, kid.

From the Mouths of Miles AND Asher (since he talks now and stuff...a little)

Wednesday~September 9, 2009

All this time, I've titled posts "From the Mouth of Miles." Now I get to add Asher. This is gonna be even more fun than before. Double the hilarity. Here goes:

There is my absolutely delicious Miles.

I asked him to have Asher help him with something and he said,
"But my brother is NOT helpful, he's MEANFUL!"

~~~~~~~~~~

He and Asher are on my bed, staring up at the ceiling and doing nothing but talking. Well actually, Miles is talking and Asher is saying, "uh huh" over and over. Miles says, "I asked God for a lot of brothers." Then he adds, pointing up, "Look! Do you see them? All the brothers falling from the sky?"

(OK, so I was a bit terrified while eavesdropping on this one...falling from the sky? NOW? Does this mean I'm pregnant with twins or sextuplets or something???? ALL boys??? NOW???...But I'm not...I don't think.)

~~~~~~~~~~

The boys are at the table having breakfast when they suddenly think that someone is in the driveway. I tell them that there's no one there, that no one is here to visit because it's way too early. Miles asks why so I explain that they get up much earlier than most people. He asks why again. I say, "I really wish I had an answer for that." To which Miles says that he knows why, and it's because, "we're much faster sleepers." Oh. Of course.

~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm changing Asher's diaper and he points at some butt lotion. So, being the excellent caregiver that I am, I ask him if his butt hurts. He says, "uh huh." So I reiterate, you know, to help with language development and all that, by saying, "Oh, you want some lotion?" To which he responds...


wait for it....



"Moisture."


Clear as day.

Moisture!

Seriously, kid. Your longest clearly spoken word has been GUM, and you add MOISTURE?

Hilarity.



The End.

7 Quick Takes

Friday~July 3, 2009


1. I totally forgot to announce my favorite title(s) for the picture story on Wednesday. Whoops. So. Remember this picture? There were so many great responses, but I especially appreciated "Tales of a Former Superhero: All Washed Up" by Minnesota Mom, and "H2 oh!" by K from Range of Notion Thanks for playing along!



2. We're heading to my hometown for the 4th. This was a last-minute decision so we have no plans, really. (That's a hint to those of you who live there. Wanna hang out? Email me or facebook me or call me. I'd love to see you. Yes. You.)

3. Speaking of my hometown. Remember how I said we've decided (finally) to move there? Well, we still really want to go, but meeting with a realtor was pretty disappointing. We found out we'd most likely lose a good chunk of money on our house. I realize that's typical in this market, but we've put in almost five years of blood, sweat, and tears to improve it, so that's a hard pill to swallow. To be continued...

4. The other day Miles said, "It's a challenge to balance a book on your head." Out of nowhere. You'd think he was waaaay mature with statements like that, and he can be, but he also says things like, "I will poop at your face, Asher! How can you resist?!?" So he's still just a regular four year old.

5. Earlier this week we were over visiting my
Kate and her kiddos with our friend Susan and her kiddos.
Kate and her family have city chickens. See?
I have no reason for sharing this other than the fact that I really like this picture of one of the chickens.





6. Speaking of Katie. Asher and Miles love her so much. (They got that from me.) Asher fell the other night and his tooth went through his lip. (As you may know from my depressing post yesterday.) About an hour after the incident, Asher brought me the phone and said, "T" over and over (his word for KaTIE). He doesn't say much, but I got the message. He really really wanted me to call Katie. I asked if he wanted to tell her about his owie and he said "Uh HUH." I love that he needed to talk to her. I just love it.


7. Have you heard of Associated Content? I'm excited to say that I've just recently become a contributor there. I'll be writing posts on parenting/motherhood on a regular basis. To get started, I shared two posts from my archives. You can find them here and here, if you'd like. Associated Content is a great site to bookmark for when you need concise information on pretty much any subject. All you have to do is put in your search words, and you'll get just the information you need in well-written articles, all in one place. What I love about this is that you can not only find articles full of information, but also pieces you can relate to, just like blog posts. I'm honored to be a part of this, and I hope you'll check it out.

And now my children are losing their minds, so excited to get going.
This is what excitement looks like on Asher:

Have a good weekend!

This post is a part of 7 Quick Takes at Conversion Diary

Give me a C!

Tuesday~ June 16, 2009

The letter 'C' doesn't really work on my laptop.

Yeah. It took me a really long time to type that because I had to get that unworking letter xfxxxdxd....to work.

See? It's not working again. Sorry...bear with me, the key has popped off the keyboard and we an't get it back on... Ryan and I are trying to put it bak on the keyboard. It's not working....

......

ccccc...

Oh look!

CCCC...

It's working!

He fixed it! (My husband can do anything.) (Except fly...he can't fly.)

The C key met it's demise at the hands of my children. They had a whole lot of fun with the computer a couple of times when I made the mistake of leaving it unattended.

There's also white gooey stuff on the floor in my bedroom, a strange smell floating out of Miles' closet, and a million small dark stains on the living room floor.

Oh, and the weird kitchen sticky stuff! It's always glued to my feet no matter how much I clean, and there are endless amounts of Cheerios in my couch cushions. (LOOK at all those C's!!!)

I'm slowly growing accustomed to these unwelcome stuck-on visitors, but I'm probably going to go crazy over the sand.

Ugh. The sand. It's on my feet and theirs, it's hiding in the grout and piling up in corners. The sand.

There are all of these things, strange little annoyances I never would have guessed would try to take over my existence as a mother. They beg to swallow me up, trying my patience and doing their work to turn me ugly and full of anger.

Silly. I will not let them win.

Because I'm too busy.

Today the boys and I took a hike through the woods. I decided to take it all in, to watch them discover things I never would have noticed, and really hear their exclamations of praise, awe, and surprise.

And it was all there. It was so full. It was good.

Oh, how I wish I would have had my camera.

But how do you capture the sounds that come from a toddler as he chases ants? How do you angle the camera just right, making sure it closes in on the light that's dusting these curious little heads?

Even with the perfect camera, the smells and sounds won't be there.

But I was.

And I heard Miles ask about "poison noisy" at least 100 times. And I saw the fold of Asher's legs as he knelt to smoosh an ant at least 15 times. And I heard the giggles of these two small creatures as they ran away from a moth.

I couldn't capture it on film, but it's here. It's with me, always. Even if I don't remember it one day.

So they can come home, and they can dirty up and sometimes destroy my house. They can shout loudly and frustrate much, but I'll go on loving my job.

I'm just so crazy about these people and our life together, even when I'm sick of the sand. Being their mom is like living out the beautiful photography of my heart.

So I forgot my camera and sometimes the C key doesn't work, but I've never been happier in my whole entire life.

Life is funny in more than two ways

Thursday~June 11, 2009

I'm sitting in a coffee shop by myself. That's always good. I'm a bit bogged down, but light at the same time. Ryan and I have finally made the decision to put our house on the market. That means lots and lots of work, getting ready to sell and then packing up and moving if someone happens to buy our humble abode. (My insides just did flip flops, just so you know.)

I'm feeling lighter at the same time because we've finally started moving forward with something we've been terribly indecisive about. Sometimes moving along in the unknown feels much better than not moving at all. We're looking to move back to the area I grew up in, and we're excited about this adventure. I've become a city girl only to an extent, and we love it here in so many ways, but we want to be near my family, in a smaller community where community IS the heart of the place. This also makes me think of one of my favorite things about blog friends. I get to take you with me wherever I go.

In the midst of this, I'm making plans for the BlogHer conference in Chicago next month. I had no idea there would be so much going on, so many parties and lunches and all sorts of things to choose from. For now I'm pretending this isn't overwhelming at all. I'd like to just wing it. I've never been there and have no problem admitting I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm just glad to have this chance to see blog friends, to share a room with Kim and her darling baby girl, and to have a good girl's weekend.

Isn't life funny? Always such a mixture of things. Even if we have seasons where we're free of pain or sorrow, life is still a whole lot of work. To fight that seems a bit silly. It only leaves me frustrated and quite ugly. I can't really even believe it myself, but I'm starting to truly embrace adversity because I've seen the good it brings in the end. That scares me. What will I be handed if I continue to gain strength? What will I be taught if I'm a willing student? Then I realize that the lessons will continue to come whether I'm open to them or not, so the fear is as pointless as trying to fend off the lessons themselves.

Yes, I know. This philosophical waxing is super profound (and repetitive, since I say the same stuff all the time).

So I'll leave you with a funny Miles story, in which the ingredients he sometimes brings to the mixture of life are hilarity and embarrassment...

So we're checking out at the grocery store and the lady that's bagging our groceries is getting the total stare-down from my son. As I take the last bag from her, saying thank you and turning to leave, I'm not quite fast enough because he says it...

"Why is that lady a man?"

My mouth freezes, and I try to turn the cart around to leave but it's tricky. So I've given him time to add, "See?" Then he does this hand motion, brushing his upper lip with his pointer finger to make a moustache.

Nice. Yes, she was still RIGHT THERE, acting as if she wasn't looking at his attempt at charades from the corner of her eye.

So we got to have the talk about how it's best to ask questions about people after you've walked away from them.

Yeah, life is funny.

7 Quick Takes

Friday~June 5, 2009


1. I've been thinking about politics a lot lately, or how people handle their opinions about politics anyway. It's not that this is entirely new, but I guess I've been a bit more focused on it than usual. I've even been tempted to do a post about what I'm thinking, which I never ever thought I would do. Lately there's so much bumping around my head and heart on this topic, but...I don't know.

2. Ryan and I are leaving, heading off to our dear friend Shannon's wedding in Wisconsin tomorrow through Sunday. We are not bringing the small people. They'll stay at home with Nanny and Bapa, and then Uncle K and his girl, D will take over. Yesterday, I said something to Uncle K about getting up at around 6 a.m. with Asher, and he just stared at me with a bit of a glazed over shocked kind of look. So I burst out laughing, of course. Yes, Uncle K, kids really do get up early and in the middle of the night. Good luck!

3. This has been the busiest week. I feel like I'm spinning my wheels/treading water/a chicken with my head cut off and crazy all at once. You should see my house. Seriously. Wait...I'll just show you. (I'm so brave.)








I realize these photos are very dark, but that's how I pretend I'm showing you how awfully dirty my house is, when I'm really just SORT OF showing you.


4. Earlier this week, I told Miles it was time for bed. We started walking to his room when he said, "My butt is totally kicked." So I said the only thing I could say. "Mine too."

5. Some of you may remember when I told you to head over to the Bloggers Annex, and then I said I would feature you here on the EO if you submitted your favorite posts to be featured there (or subscribed) (which you should still totally do). I just wanted to tell you I haven't forgotten about that promise. I'm just crazy, so I'm slow. I'll start featuring you very soon.

6. Here are some of my favorite pictures from our trip last weekend:


7. This one time, I was driving my sister's car in downtown Minneapolis. I ran a red light. Not on purpose, I was just confused about the whole one-way-right-on-red thing, and went when I wasn't supposed to. Then my sister got a ticket in the mail because there was a video camera that busted me. So I had to go in and straighten things out, saying I was driving her vehicle and then I paid for the ticket. It was over a hundred dollars. YOW. This was maybe two or three years ago. Anyway, the state of Minnesota decided these video cameras at lights were unconstitutional or something, so yesterday I got a check in the mail for over 100 dollars. It was like free money! Even though I just broke even, I still want to go spend it on something fun. Isn't this story riveting?

The End.

For more 7 Quick Takes posts, visit Conversion Diary

From the Mouth of Miles

Thursday~ May 14, 2009

(that's a carrot and some dip on his noggin)

~~~~~~~~~~

I'm tucking him in to bed (and sniffing his head, of course) and I say, "MMMM, you smell like outside." And he reciprocates with, "MMMMM, you smell like backside."

~~~~~~~~~~

After much nagging about many things, he turns to me and says, "I'm just a guy who likes to do stuff! GOOD HEAVENS!"

~~~~~~~~~~

Miles is currently more than obsessed with all things Superheroes and Star Wars. Because he's only three, I try to talk to him about how I don't think he's quite ready for the "rude talk" and violence in many of the movies and shows he begs to watch. He's pretty good at trying to convince me he's ready though:

"You know, Mom. God made Star Wars to fight evil. So it's nice."

~~~~~~~~~~

He's running around playing and accidentally runs into me as he's flying through the kitchen. He bounces off me and says, "Whoops! I ran into your big booty!"

~~~~~~~~~~

The other night, Miles was really stalling at bedtime. He tried every trick in the book and was so over-tired he finally resorted to totally losing it. Then he crashed and fell fast asleep. The next morning, he woke up and bounded out of bed saying, "I slept a really long time because I was so tired from all of that arguing last night!" Um...yeah. Me too.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Remember that time we watched The Grinch? That was SO funny. I laughed my head totally off. I was really enjoying it." (Seriously...is he twelve? Or three?)

~~~~~~~~~~

And then there's this guy. Asher may not say much, but he sure speaks volumes with his eyes. (And his screeches and screams and shouts of "NOOOO, Mommy! NOOOOO.")

For more pictures worth a thousand words, visit Jen at Cheaper Than Therapy.

Am I smarter than a three year old?

Monday~April 27th, 2009

"Stop staring at me! You just keep staring and staring without saying anysing! STOP IT!"

Those were the words from my three year old, being fired at me like bullets, a glare in his eyes. I stood there and thought about how right he was. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do, so I was just staring him down, waiting for his tantrum to stop, hoping my eyes would make it stop. My words sure weren't working, they were only making it worse.

I said "You're right. I don't know why I'm staring. I don't know what else to do." Then I walked away, wondering if God was getting a good laugh right about then. After all, I once thought I had all the answers. I once thought my child would never do that.

That is pretty funny.

Lately more and more people have been giving me that look, shaking their heads and saying things about how articulate Miles is, what an amazing vocabulary he has, and pointing out how abstract his thinking seems to be. And since I'm as biased as any mother, I totally agree with them. Somewhere in my mind I think he's gifted and talented and a genius and all that. Even though with common sense, I know that's true of every child. They all have their own unique gifts, in all different areas.

So can I tell you a little secret? I'm terrified of Miles' ability to relate, understand feelings, and navigate conversation to get what he wants.

It's uncanny really. It happens in nearly every conversation we have throughout the day, "Well, Mom...we can always just not watch TV later." Or, "Well, Mom. It's OK because if it gets dirty, we can use that cleaner in the blue bottle and then wash it in the machine." Or, "Well, MOM! How 'bout if we don't wait to go outside, but we go now and then later, when we come in I will help you do all the cleaning, how 'bout that?" (all with a cheesy grin and major hand motions.)

A couple of nights ago my dear friend Kate and her two kiddos came over. The kids were in the (fenced in) backyard, playing, while Kate and I finished dinner. I would pop out the back door to check on them every few minutes, and they were always just fine, digging in the dirt or some such thing. After about four or five times, Miles asked (in an exasperated teen tone), "Mom, WHY do you keep checking on yus? We're playing safely!" To which I said, "Because it's my job, I want to be sure you're OK." And then, get this,

"Well, Mom. If I were your mom, I would just know if you were OK or not, I would just be able to tell, even without looking. I wouldn't have to check on me."

He was persuading me in such a way, that for a moment, I questioned my maternal gut instincts. It was like the whole staring argument. I find myself standing around so often, stumped at how to respond. I mean, of course I know that I should keep checking on a three year old in the back yard whether he likes it or not, but for just a second I stood with my mouth open, wondering if I should just be able to navigate the situation from inside the house, no peeking, using nothing but my instincts. And then I stopped gawking, turned to go in the house and laughed my head off. (I believe that's what every mother should do anytime she's stumped, it makes us look like loads of fun. Or crazy. Whichever.)

Miles would make a really good defense attorney one day, confusing the opposition with his, "If I were you...," leading the jury to that moment of introspection that gives them the reasonable doubt.

I'm in so much trouble.

Do you know what's getting harder for me to remember because of all of this? He's still a baby, still so dependent, still needing so much nurturing. He might act like he doesn't need me, but I know I'm the one he wants when he falls down. I know I'm who he looks for when he's hungry, cold, thirsty, or tired. So I'll enjoy that while I have the chance.

After all, I doubt he'll need me quite so much when he's a hostage negotiator.

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I hope you'll notice the new button in my sidebar. It's a link to Megan of KnuckleHeaders, the lovely lady who designed my blog. I realize that yesterday I really made it sound like I did this all by myself, but I simply meant I was now moving things around and that I hired someone to do it. I did not do it. (I am totally not capable of doing it.) All credit for the actual design and it's appearance here goes to Megan. And if you don't mind me saying so, she did an amazing job!

Worrying makes me especially weird

Tuesday~April 21, 2009

When I was a kid and would finally decide I should clean up my pit of a room, I would pretend there was a reason I had to do it really fast, so I could get it over with. My favorite imaginary reason was that my mother-in-law was coming over. Obviously I wasn't married, but I was good at pretending.

Apparently I had noticed that a person cleans before their mother-in-law comes over. Or when anyone comes over, for that matter.

I don't think there many people who can totally refrain from picking up the house before someone comes over. I mean, unless they have no choice and absolutely no time.

I do it too. Even if it's my best friend in the whole world who could care less about the state of my home, I still rush around picking up toys and throwing dishes in dishwasher. Even if I don't really care if it's messy. It's like an addiction. This old dog can't teach herself the trick of keeping it messy for guests. I don't even really mind cleaning it up for guests. I kind of like it because it gives me some motivation to actually finish something, which always feels good.

I suppose that's why Miles always asks who's coming over when I'm cleaning. When I say "no one," he doesn't believe me. "But no, Mom! WHO is coming over?" Sigh. "Honey, I'm just cleaning to clean." Pause. "Is it Grampa Ken?"

I'm also a therapeutic cleaner. When I'm stressed, worried, sad, excited, happy, contemplative...
Well, I guess pretty much any feeling will make me want to clean. And yet, I'm a pretty lazy and scattered person who doesn't really ever finish cleaning. But I do have certain things in my house, like a random refrigerator drawer that's really sparkly. I'm a strange cleaning dichotomy.

So basically, whatever I'm feeling, to deal with it, I either clean or write random blog posts about nothing.

I think the cleaning thing might be wearing off on Miles already. He asks to clean. Then I get him an old rag with some water on it and he runs around the house like Dash on the Incredibles, scrubbing walls, floors, tabletops and even the carpeting.

The other day, I complimented him on what a good job he was doing and he said, "Yeah, I've got good cleaning skills."

True, true.

Can you tell by this post that I'm all out of sorts? Random cleaning information is weird.

I'm thinking about and praying for Baby Stellan while he's in surgery this morning. I chose to deal with my scattered thoughts over the matter by writing a post and this is what came out, which really makes no sense. I think I should just stick to cleaning while I worry wait...

Orange for Stellan

From the mouth of Miles

Posted on Monday~ March 31, 2009
Miles returned from a trip to the home improvement store with Daddy, holding an empty Blizzard cup. Apparently he knows that I like him to eat healthy and not have too much sugar because the first thing he said was, "Mom, this is just a cup of ice and it comes with a spoon so you can scoop up the ice and eat the ice it's just ice."

So we talked about lying. I asked him to look at me and told him I don't mind if he has ice cream. I said he can always tell me the truth. Then I asked him what he had eaten and he said,

"Milk."

I suppose that's progress, getting just a little closer to the truth?

---------------

He's sitting at the table drawing pictures and he asks me to tell him a story about what he's drawing. So I asked him what the drawing was and (of course) he said, "A monster."

So I made a lame attempt at telling a story.

Miles promptly interrupts and says, "No, that's not the story! The story is that the monster comes to eat us but I came flying in because Buzz Lightyear helped. And I didn't know what to do so I was Superman so I wiped off his mouth with cardboard."

Oh. I'm sorry. I don't know how I could have gotten that story wrong.

---------------

We were in the car and a song I love came on when we got to Target (yes, we're pretty much always going to Target when we're in the car.) We pulled into our parking space and I took a minute to listen to the song and say some prayers for Stellan.

Miles actually waited patiently for about a minute and then he gently said, "Mom, you forgot to unbuckle yus." I told him that I just needed a little more time and he asked why. I said I was thinking about baby Stellan. He sat quietly for another minute and I thought about how we've talked a little bit about Stellan, when we've prayed for him. But I was wondering if Miles really understands that sort of thing. I've simply told him that Stellan's heart isn't working right so the doctors are trying to fix it.

Then he said, "Mommy...I'm sad about that baby because that baby didn't do anything to have his heart not work right."

(Pregnant pause while I fight the tears and try to think of what to say.)

"You're right honey, that's what makes it especially sad."

---------------

"Mom, I'm mad at Winter. It's taking too long. It's so cold and it's RUDE."

Amen, brother.

So we wait impatiently for Spring.

From the mouth of Miles

Posted on Wednesday~March 10, 2009

The helpful brother:
Miles was trying to keep Asher out of a room and went to slam the door closed.

I said, "Watch out for his fingers!"

His reply? "I'm just trying to help you cause I'm a capable kid!"

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Potty training continues to go really well (or not):
I know he has to use the bathroom, but he's stalling so I say, "You realize if you pee in your Spiderman costume I'll have to wash it so you won't be able to wear it."

"That's OK BY ME! If I pee in it, I don't mind."

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On baking:
We made cookies together and I have no idea what happened to them, but they turned out awful. Flat wafers that tasted more like flour than sugar. I'm guessing some ingredients were added when my back was turned. Upon trying the nasty cookies Miles said,

"These cookies are not very tasty...it's like they're not very...sugary. I guess we'll have to call them healthy cookies."

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In the buff:
He has taken off his clothes and is walking around bare, carrying different clothes. Ryan asks him if he thinks he's going to take a bath.

"I'm not naked for THAT...I'm about to get UN-naked."
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I'm over at the Mama Manifesto today, thinking about the inevitable teen years and how a person goes about handling them. Will I be footloose? Or fancy free? You can check that out here. See you there. If you want.

The boy who cried...

Posted on Tuesday~ February 24, 2009

We were having one of "those" rides home from preschool. The kind where I know very quickly that school has plum worn out my poor, weepy child. I was trying to refrain from blasting the music loud enough to cover the tantrum that was my child, all buckled in snug behind me, screaming with tears running down his cheeks.

This doesn't happen very often, but he was was mad, mad, mad. Because Asher had a sun visor on his window and he did not.

I guess he had a good point. I mean, why the sun-in-the-eyes favoritism, I don't know? Besides the fact that every time you turn, the sun switches sides, blinding whichever child is closest. The sun has no favorites. So I was trying to explain that when we turn onto our street the sun wouldn't be in his eyes anymore, but Miles was NOT having it. He was obviously extremely tired.

So I said "Miles, I think school must have really worn you out today."

Quiet.

"Do you think it did? Or are you just sad?"

"Some kids bonked me over and I cried."

"Oh...I'm so sorry, sweetie. Did you get hurt?"

"Yes." He sighs bigly.

"Well, did the teacher help you feel better?"

"No, she was too busy."

"Oh that's too bad....maybe the bonking was an accident."

"No...(very sad, pitiful little voice) "It wasn't an accident...they pushed me down and then...one of them...called me a SHEEEEEEP!" (crying gets louder)

"Oh sweetie, I bet that DID make you feel sad." (Mama Bear starts bumping around inside me)

Quiet...

And then he says it...

"That didn't happen...I want the sun blocker thing now."

(I stifle a laugh because I just can't help it. Thank God he can only see the back of my head)

"Miles. You just cried sheep!"

"Huh?"

"You just cried sheep! You made up a story and had me believing it was the truth and now when you tell me these things I won't know if you're telling me the truth or not. Do you understand?"

Silence.

Baaaaa!

From the mouth of Miles

Posted on Saturday~February 21, 2009

Have I mentioned lately how great Miles is? Have I said how crazy I am about him? Or have I just been whining about temper tantrums and stalling at bedtime? Either way, I have to say that the things this child says alone could keep me going for weeks on end. He's so bright and happy, thoughtful and vibrant. I'm so glad he's ours.

He says it like it is:
Miles and Daddy were playing together and suddenly Miles says disgustedly,

"EW! Your breath is NOT tasty! It is so STINKY."

He has dreams:
"Mommy, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"I don't know, honey...whatcha thinkin'?"

"We should start a BAND. In our basement! Isn't that a great idea???"

"Yes it is, I wanna be the drummer."

He knows what he wants and sells me on it:
"Mom, maybe you could go get me some chapstick. My lips are SO chapped....and so are my teeth AND my tongue!"

Remember when he said that when you mix ketchup and mustard together it makes good happen? Well, here's his take on what happens when you mix Miles and Asher together:

Walking away from where he's been playing with his brother, he looks frustrated and says in a huff, "Asher's making bored happen."

He makes me want to have faith like a child:

He's contemplating something and looks so deep in thought I think I can't get his attention. Then he says, "I think God sends help for our world, like superheroes."

And I say, "Do you mean like angels or actual superheroes?" He looks surprised by me bringing up angels, almost like he's shocked to hear that I know about them. He pauses and says, "Yeah angels. Like the one that comes to be with Asher."

He's always ready to simply be a kid. And imagine:
"Mommy, if a dinosaur ate you, before you went down it's throat, it would chomp you with sharp teeth and keep you in it's cheek and I would have to come and save you with my side kick who is very Asher and I would WAP and BOOM and then he saw another man with a rope and he tied the sidekick up and then he tied horses up and he was furry and boomed to a fairy..." (I typed that as he was saying it or there would be no way I would remember.)

Miles, you rock.